Sexuality is personal to our identities, and many have to fight through challenges and enlightenment to place their understanding on the spectrum. If you are sitting there thinking, “Am I a lesbian?”, then know that you are not alone. There are so many people of any age and of any background who have questioned their sexual orientation. This article is an attempt to shed some light and give you a better understanding before taking the quiz. It will help you take the topic with a better understanding of what being lesbian means or how you might fit into this identity.
The Spectrum of Sexuality
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Sexuality is not just a matter of straight or gay: it falls along a broad, fluid spectrum. Within these distinctions include heterosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, homosexuality, and other sexual orientations. A lesbian would, therefore, be typically a woman who feels emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction towards another woman. Again, this definition can vary and be more nuanced depending on individual experiences and feelings.
Knowing that sexuality is fluid can be a comfort. It means that your feelings will change over time, and it is okay to explore different aspects of your identity at your own pace. Whether you are certain about your feelings or still in the questioning stage, remember that your experience is valid.
Signs You May Be a Lesbian
You might have some inkling or signs that tell you this could be the case before taking the “Am I Lesbian?” quiz. Even though everybody’s experience is unique, here are some common signs that might strike a chord with you.
One of the biggest signs is when you have emotional or romantic feelings towards women. It may feel different from what you do towards men, or what your friends seem to feel about the opposite sex. You may also find that you are more comfortable and ‘yourself’ in relationships with women and that these relationships would carry a sense of fulfillment that you found nowhere else.
Another major indicator is physical attraction. You may feel more physically attracted to women or think about your thoughts and fantasies being quite often about other women. Still, it is valid to note that physical attraction is only one part; many have reported starting by questioning their orientation based on feelings of romance or emotional connection alone.
Another sign could be disinterest in men or that your relationships with them never seemed quite right. If you have had relationships with men before, and you’ve felt something was missing, that it was hard to connect, then maybe that’s the cue.
Society and Stereotypes
Societal expectations and stereotypes also shape how we feel about our sexual orientation. For instance, the stereotype that to be a lesbian means to dress or act a certain way could certainly confuse or cast doubt. It is important to remember there are no regulations about being a lesbian with respect to how you are supposed to look, act, or think. You don’t have to fit into a mold to be a lesbian. How you feel and who you like are what matter, aside from the expectations of people who love to categorize.
This is where societal pressure for some standard norms gets in the way of accepting your sexuality. Some people may refuse or doubt their feelings out of fear of judgment or rejection. Keep an open mind about this self-discovery process and give yourself time and space to know your feelings.
Taking the “Am I Lesbian?” Quiz
Keep in mind, as you prepare to take the “Am I Lesbian?” quiz, that the intention of the quiz is to guide, not label you. This type of quiz is meant to get you thinking about how you feel and about past experiences. They can bring to light some really good insights, things you hadn’t thought about, and shouldn’t be taken as gospel on your sexual orientation.
Think of this quiz as one tool among many in your journey of self-discovery. It is a time to reflect on how you relate to others, what you are drawn to emotionally and physically, and how you feel about your relationships. This quiz could be especially helpful if you have been uncertain about your feelings or if you have wondered about your sexuality for a little while now.
What’s Next?
Regardless of the results of this quiz, remember that this isn’t the end. Sexuality is so complicated, and your feelings may change over time. The most important thing is staying true to yourself and finding supportive environments to seek out and explore your identity safely.
If you are a lesbian, then you belong to a varied and vibrant community. There are resources, support groups, and communities at large that help one understand better his or her feelings and get in touch with others who have gone through the same.
Ultimately, whether you are newly discovering your sexual orientation or if you have been wondering for quite some time, it is all about the process. Be grateful to yourself, be patient, allowing yourself to get free into the learning of who you are.